Coping with Late Night Office Parties and the Better (Bitter) Half

Behind the glitzy parties, life is a saga of uncomfortable questions and suspicious husbands, if your job entails partying and client dinners. Now how many women are lucky enough to have a partner who opens the door for her in the middle of the night, escorts her to the bedroom if she's too drunk, takes off her shoes and tucks her into bed? And in the morning gets her a tray full of goodies and strong black coffee to nurse her hangover, caresses her head with fatherly love and says, "Had a tough day at work darling?" Not many we're sure. Call it 'western work culture' but an increasing number of women have to 'party' professionally at corporate dinners.
But their better (read bitter) halves find it difficult to digest, we found out.
Swati Chawla (name changed), who works at an event management company cannot imagine the scene we described, taking place in her bedroom."Not in my wildest of dreams. How can I expect royal treatment from him considering that he doesn't get it from me when he comes back drunk," she says. As an event manager dinners and parties are a part of her job but she knows about the hazards her profession could cause in her personal life.
This kind of lifestyle doesn't always go well with husbands, no matter how liberal they might seem. Men get insecure and as psychologist Anu Goel puts it, he becomes "the woman in the relationship." Thankfully for Chawla, things haven't gone sour. "My husband is a marketing professional and both us, more or less have to do the same kind of work. If I have to go out for events, my husband lives out of his suitcase, so we understand each other," says Chawla. Married for a year, she and her husband, Shiv have a pact between them.
"We both are quite cautious and strictly follow the rules. If one of us has to go out for a dinner or a party, the rule is we won't get too drunk and we try to get back home by midnight," she says. Her boss in Australia often calls her at odd hours because of the time difference, so she makes sure she attends all her calls in front of her husband and keeps him posted about her work.
Till now it has been a smooth ride for Chawla, but for some couples things did not quite work out.
Ranjana Naik and her husband, Shreyas met at B-School while pursuing their MBAs, and got married five years ago. Apart from love at first sight, Ranjana married Shreyas because she knew that a man from the same area of work would be more understanding and would give her the kind of independence she always yearned for. Ranjana joined a food retail chain as a marketing executive and graduated to become the brand manager in four years. "I worked late, travelled a lot, met clients, and attended parties. Shreyas too was in a medical equipments company and had the same rigorous schedule and were quite okay with it," says Ranjana. They had postponed having a baby for four years. And finally when they had a baby last year, their life went topsy-turvy.
"I joined back after my maternity leave, leaving my baby with the ayah - the woman was my ayah when I was small, so I could trust her with my child. But things were not the same. Shreyas wanted me to stay at home with the baby," she says. Whenever she had to go for an official dinner or came back late from work, her husband picked up a fight with her. So finally she decided to make some adjustments. You can't have your cake and eat it too, says Ranjana's marriage counsellor, Goel. "So she had to tell her bosses she wouldn't be able to work late though at her position it was the dumbest thing to do. Her career would be hampered, but she had to save her marriage," Goel admits. PS: Her husband, however, still continues with the same lifestyle.
Men always seem to escape the 'making adjustments' part of a marriage. The reason, Dr Kamal Khurana, marriage and relationship counsellor, Purple Alley, says is that they are still stuck up with traditional gender roles. "They are okay with their female colleagues working late or going for official parties. They would call their colleagues 'professional' but they can't fathom it when their own wife does the same," he says. "It is ironical how a man can empathise with his female co-worker but not his wife," he adds.
Most men who get suspicious and insecure are the ones who have some guilt hidden, says psychologist, Dr Gitanjali Kumar. " Either they have seen women involved in extra-marital affairs at their workplace or have themselves been involved in something similar. So when it comes to their wife, their mind starts ticking," she says. "Marriage means empathising with your spouse, sadly many couples don't go by this rule," she adds.
If empathy sounds to clichéd, then think of it as a business deal.
Strike the right deal with your partner and life will be one big party!
HONEY I'LL BE LATE
Keep your partner informed about your whereabouts. If you receive work-related phone calls at odd hours, attend to them in front of your partner.
Set a deadline for yourself at night and try to get back home by that time
Make sure you don't get sloshed at an office party. Office party goof-ups can have some long term repercussions

Things to Know about - PROVIDENT FUND (for employees)

With booming of the job culture, there are many organisations mushrooming everywhere who are recruiting people for their organisation. Freshers who join in the rush of the job culture are sometimes not aware about the various facilities provided by the organisations, and some are not aware IF an organisation should provide some of the facilities.

One such facility to be provided by any organisation under Indian Constitution is the Provident Fund Scheme. Every person who joins any organisation feels that there should be Provident Fund Scheme from every company, otherwise that company or organisation is not effective enough.

What is a Provident Fund and who should be getting it ? Which are the companies who fall under this scheme ?

Provident Fund is a reserve which was set up by the government for the people who retire after working under it. It was found that after spending the golden years of their life in an organisation a person got retired and had to depend on their relatives or children for the rest of their lives. This fund was made for such people who would be able to enjoy their life independently after retirement.

Thus the Government of India under Ministry of Labour and Employment formed a statutory body - Employees' Provident Fund Organisation (EPFO). The Employees' Provident Funds and Miscellaneous Provisions Act, 1952 came into effect on 4th March 1952. The Organisation is administered by a Central Board of Trustees, comprising of representatives of the Government of India, provincial governments, employers and employees. The Board is chaired by the Union Labour Minister of India.

Provident Fund For Employees:

For New Entrants:

• Enrolment: An employee is eligible for membership from the day he joins the covered establishment.
  
  
• If the employee’s emoluments exceed Rs. 6,500/- per month, he has the option to join the Scheme(s) with the consent of employer.
  
  
• Declare previous employment details, if any, in Form No. 11 to the employer.
  
  
• On becoming a member of the Schemes file details in Form No. 2 ( family particulars/ nominations) through the employer.
  
  
• Rate of contribution payable by a member shall be @ 12% of his emoluments.
  
  
• A member can contribute statutarily over and above the prescribed rate.
  
  

For Existing Members:

• Enrolment:
  
  
• Any change in the family status, such as, -
  
  
  • marriage of the member.
    
    
  • additions / deletion in the family.
    
    
  • Legal adoption of the children.
    
    
  • Change of nominee, is to be filed in Form No. 2 through the employer.
    
    
• In the event the member is holding a Scheme Certificate (under EPS, 95), he should surrender the same to the concerned EPFO office, through his employer.
  
  
• A member is entitled to various benefits & facilities such as withdrawals, advances, pensions, death insurance etc.

APPLICABILITY OF EMPLOYEES' PROVIDENT FUND AND MISCELLANEOUS PROVISIONS ACT '1952

The Employees' Provident Fund and Miscellaneous Provisions Act 1952 applies to the whole India except Jammu & Kashmir.

Employees' Provident Fund and Miscellaneous Provisions Act 1952 is applicable to:

• Every establishment which is engaged in any one or more of the industries specified in Schedule I of the Act or any activity notified by Central Government in the Official Gazette. (List of Industries/Establishments)
  
  
• Employing 20 or more persons .
  
  
• Cinema Theatres employing 5 or more persons.
  
  

The Act does not apply to:

• The co-operative societies employing less than 50 persons and working without the aid of power. 16(1)(a)
  
  

The establishment to which this Act applies shall continue to be governed by this Act , even if the number of employees falls below 20 at a later date. [ 1(5)].

16(1)(b) Establishments under the control of state/central Govt.& employees who are getting benefits in the nature of 16(1) (b) contributory P.F. or old age pension as per rules framed by the Govt.

16(1)(c) Establishment set up under any central, provincial or state act and the employees who are getting benefits in the nature of contributory P.F. or old age pension as per rules.

Voluntary Coverage

If any of the establishment is not satisfying the above two conditions for coverage and if the employer and majority of the employees are willing , the Act may be applicable to such establishment ( voluntary coverage under section 1(4) )

Rates of Contribution:

a) The Employees' Provident Fund Scheme

In respect of establishments employing 20 or more persons and engaged in industry notified under Section 6 of Act ( other than the Establishments. declared as sick ) 12% of the basic pay DA , Cash value of food concession and retaining allowance , if any, subject to a maximum of Rs.6500/- per month. Voluntary higher contributions are also acceptable at the joint request of the member and the employer . However, the rate of contribution is 10% in respect of the following categories of establishments:

• Any establishment covered prior to 22.9.97 in which less than 20 persons are employed.
  
  
• Any sick industrial company as defined in Clause(0) of Sub-Section(1) of Section 3 of the sick industrial companies ( special provisions ) Act 1985 and which has been declared as such by the Board for Industrial and Financial Reconstruction.
  
  
• Any Establishment which has at the end of any financial year accumulated losses equal to or exceeding its entire net worth.
  
  
• Any Establishment engaged in manufacturing of (a) Jute , (b) Beedi , (c) Brick , (d) Coir (other than spinning sector), (e) Guar Gum Industries/Factories.

b) The Employees' Pension Scheme

From and out of employer's share of Provident Fund contributions 8.33% of the total wages limited to Rs. 6500/- per month is segregated and credited to the Employees' Pension Fund in A/C No. 10 ( w.e.f. 1-06-2001 ).

The Central Government also would contribute at the rate of 1.1 / 6% of total wages.

c) Employees' Deposit Linked Insurance Scheme:

No amount is recovered from employee's wages . Employer should pay 0.5% of total wages subject to a ceiling of Rs. 6500/- per month ( w.e.f. 1-06-2001 ).

SUBMISSION OF RETURNS

FORM NO.	DESCRIPTION	PURPOSE
2	Nomination form. (Common form for PF & Pension schemes.)	This is given by PF Members and utilised for releasing PF dues to the nominees. It also contains the details of the family members.
11	The Employees' Provident Funds Scheme, 1952 [para 34].	Declaration by a person taking up employment in an establishment in which the Employees' Provident Funds & Family Pension Fund Scheme is in force.
Pension
F9	The Employees' Pension Scheme 1995[para 24] .	Declaration by a person taking up employment in an establishment in which the Employees' Pension Scheme is in force.

To know more log onto:

http://www.epfindia.com/Index.htm

How to Reach KALIGHAT MANDIR when in KOLKATA

West Bengal has been the land of the divine goddess KALI since time immemorial. People from far reaching places come here to visit the temple to get blessed from the goddess.

Kalighat is located in the city of Calcutta on the banks of the river Hooghly (Bhagirathi). The name Calcutta is said to have been derived from the word Kalighat.

Sometimes it can be quite tedious to reach the place, if you are placed in some other part of the city.

How to reach Kalighat Temple:

The Route :

From Howrah Station (by Taxi): Howrah Station - Howrah Bridge - Strand Road - Mahatma Gandhi Road - Chittaranjan Avenue - Esplanade(Dharmatala) - Park Street Crossing - Maidan Crossing - Exide More - Jadghu Bazar - Hazra Crossing - Kalighat

(by BUS) : There are many Buses moving from the station towards HAZRA or KALIGHAT or RASHBEHARI.

From Airport(by Taxi)- Airport - Rajarhat Bypass - EM Bypass - Ruby Hospital - Bose Pukur - Garihat More - Traingular Park - Rashbehari - Kalighat

(by BUS) : The buses plying from Airport towards Tollygunge are the best. You can get down at Rashbehari and either walk or take a taxi towards the Temple.

The best rout if you are coming from the Station is to avail metro service from Mahatma Gandhi Road and come at Kalighat Metro Station.

and if you are coming from the Airport , is to come towards Dum Dum metro station and board the metro towards Kalighat Station.

(Cheap and Easy commutation)

• If you are somewhere at Gariahat - Take a bus going towards Rashbehari from the Gariahat Crossing.
• If you are somewhere at Garia - The buses plying from Garia are , bus no 228, 80A, Harinavi mini.
• If you are somewhere at Park Circus - Take a taxi towards Park Street Meto - take the metro towards Kalighat Metro
• If you are somewhere at Chetla / Taratala - Take auto towards Rashbejari, and walk to Kalighat
• If you are somewhere near Alipore - take auto towards Hazra and walk towards Kalighat

Exams and Snowfall should Never Concide

It was the month of December - January in Shimla of the year 2002 - 2003 when i had my First Semester Examination of PG. U can imagine the chilled weather at that time of the year. It used to be cloudy all the time making us keep our heaters on 24 hours. Being a Governmet University we had free supply of electricity (THank God!!) otherwise we would have had frozen in that minus degree temperature. We had to study mostly all night, but I never was able to keep up for long and slept soundly inside my warm quilt. I had my examination centre at the Evening College at the Mall, just near the Post Office, where we had to reach by 1:00 pm daily for the exams. It is a very Old building with wooden stairs and wooden floors and it was more or less cold inside (thou not chilled).

The weather was going nearly minus everyday and the sky was always overcast. But things were going normal as it can be in that numbing weather.

And then one day "IT HAPPENED". It was the 31st of December 2003. We woke up early in the morning and what we saw was breathtaking. Everywhere and Everything had turned into WHITE. It had Snowed HEAVILY all night and the temperature was below zero.

Few of our hostel mates whos exams were over wanted us all to go out and play in the snow. (An opportunity which comes once in a while) but......... we politely refused and cursed the examinations. Ah! So Unfortunate for us (me and my roomie) that we had to study for the exams.

I left for my centre by 12:00 pm from the hostel. Studies was out of my mind and I was busy looking around, the path, the leaves, the foliage, the sky everything seemed to have worn a cloth of white. (Imagine Santa Clause walking the path down with a baggage if gifts!!)
Well thats what was going on in my mind.
Boarding the bus from Summer Hill to Shimla Proper and then climbing up the stairs towards Mall road was tedious in that cold. Even our breath seemed to freese just after blowing it out. I reached my destination, attempeted my papers and came out of the Evening college centre after 4:00 pm.

Evening was more wonderful than the morning. The mist and cloud was shielding the Mall and the Ridge. The Snow and Cold was everywhere. People had everything they could gather on their self. Sweaters, shawls, mufflers, cap, gloves anything that can keep us warm. The beauty of snowy evening was slowly coming to an end, and again Unfortunately we had to return back to our Hostel to prepare for the next day's exam.
Coming back we pacified ourselves heard how others had enjoyed the first snowfall of the season and how they are going to celebrate the next day "New Year-2003" ..

We just said to ourselves : Well Better Luck .. MAY BE NEXT YEAR ???

My 21st Birthday @ Shimla - first at the Hostel

The second day after i went to the hostel at Shimla-HPU, was my birthday.

I had a couple of frends there 'S' and 'K' who was residing at different Hostels adjoining mine, RANI LAXMI BAI and RENUKA HOSTEL. As it was my first day, my scarcely furnished room and hostel looked quite Goofy, so I spent the previous night at Renuka Hostel with my friends and went to sleep by 10:30 as i was very tired from all the excitement of coming to Shimla. By 12:00 at night, my friends and their friends jumped over me in my sleep to wish me A Very Happy Birthday. I was so drowsy with sleep but they woke me up presenting me with cards and a small cake. I was really moved by all their endevour to make my first day and my birthday so special.

Morning I spent at my New found Department - Department of Chemistry. I came to know the few classmates that I had, countably 8 and I came to know 'M', who had joined Applied Organic Chemistry. And so I and 'M' thought of becoming room mates as I didn't have any room mate till then. So, here's how i got my Room mate for nearly next three years.

Evening was good too. I and my two friends went to the MALL. The journey from SUMMER HILL to SHIMLA bus stand, was in a bus but from the bus stand to THE RIDGE was a bit tedious as we had to climb up the hill from the bus stand to reach our destination, THE famous RIDGE.But i was worth all that labor. The weather was superb (I should exclaim it as extremely superb - just to emphasize what i felt). The MALL was cold and it was foggy everywhere, but it was not the fog but the CLOUDS that had come down and enveloped earth. We were wearing sweaters as it was becoming too cold slowly. Imagine September as a COLD month anywhere else in India ? And the Himalayan ranges that could be seen from top of the RIDGE was marvelous. With the cold air blowing softy on our cheeks we roamed up and down the street and in that CHILL, we had an idea of having an Ice Cream ... Yes !! Not a Joke, and the Ice Cream never melts there ..... until its in your mouth ;)

First Day at HPU - Gargi Hostel

Life at the hostel was full of fun for me. Thou I did have some bad times too missing home and getting sick but still , I had enjoyed a lot with my room mates and wing mates.

I had taken admission in the Chemistry Department for a Post Graduate Diploma Course in Applied Analytical Chemistry and I got to know a few students who had come to take admission in the same stream or a similar stream of Applied Organic Chemistry.

I went to GARGI Hostel on 24th September 2001, a day before my 21st birthday. It was an eventful day as I and my family had reached Shimla for the first time. Visiting places like the Mall, Lower shimla, Kufri ...

September is a beautiful month in the hills with colorful flowers blooming all around. After visiting all these places my parents left me at the Hostel Gate and I climbed up with my baggage at the fourth floor, Room No 417.

A small room of 8" x 8" with one wall cupboard and a few shelves. One table, One chair, and two Cots. I didn't know with whom i was to share my room, but i did hope it was some one i could adjust with.

Shimla

Hi frends

I have been to many places since my childhood. Small townships where i have stayed, in Madhya Pradesh, Jharkhand, Himachal Pradesh .. covering and roaming around, but the places I loved to stay in the last years of my Acedemic life is "Shimla" .. Capital of Himachal Pradesh

I stayed there in the University Campus for three years, and i enjoyed each and every moment of my stay ..